Blurts & Spasms

In answer to Quora question: "Can generosity be destructive?"

Absolutely. If generosity is enabling or codependent in nature, or is compulsive, or instigated by guilt or fear, or does not skillfully calculate outcomes...really if it is not carefully, wisely and compassionately considered...then generosity can be extremely destructive. Some examples:

1) If I have given money to a homeless man out of reflexive guilt or sympathy, and he uses it to purchase recreational drugs or alcohol to satisfy a harmful and debilitating addiction, then my generosity was destructive. If, instead, I had given him some food, or perhaps an article of clothing if he was cold, or a hat to protect him from the sun, etc. then my giving might have been more skillful.

2) If I give money to a missing children's agency that is actually a scam (and not a legitimate charity) because I am too busy or don't care enough to investigate them, then I am being destructive by not making that money available to legitimate charities.

3) If I give money to a friend who has a compulsive gambling habit, I am enabling their self-destructive habit. If instead, I offered to pay the same amount for them to see a gambling addiction counselor, then my generosity would likely be far less destructive.

Essentially, when we are "generous" without fully appreciating the ramifications of our giving, then we can be destructive without even knowing it. This is why having ongoing relationships with those in need ends up being much more effective than giving blindly to anyone who asks.

Along these lines, I recommend reading this essay: Compassion and Codependence

My 2 cents.