Blurts & Spasms

Being “too responsive to social inputs from the outside” is sometimes the result of innate codependent or compulsive proclivities, but more often it is the consequence of years of familial and/or cultural conditioning. The former is what in Integral Lifework I call a “structural barrier,” and the second is learned and therefore a bit more malleable/changeable. In either case changing the behavior as an almost automatic response can be extremely difficult — especially in contexts where there is already investment in the relationships involved (family, romantic, close friends, neighbors, etc.), or if we have a career or daily routine with high social exposure and interraction. This leaves us with a limited array of choices to mitigate our “overly responsive” reflexes, some of which include:

1) Self-isolation, rigid personal boundaries, and avoidance of human and media contact (not particularly healthy in the long run, but sometimes may be necessary in the short run to regain personal space and equilibrium).

2) Concentrating on a personal discipline of self-care and selective responses. For example, committing to regular, uncompromising routines that focus on various aspects of personal well-being, and reserving specific times/days to interact with others socially, to interact with or consume media, to communicate with friends and family, etc. In other words, to compartmentalize our time so that we can filter the level of exposure and interaction with “inputs from the outside.”

3) Doing cognitive work on our internal reactivity — addressing the patterns of thought and emotion around our responses to external inputs. This might include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and various forms of daily meditation.

These are just a few examples, but it is possible to begin reshaping our habits and responses, and to become “less porous” to external programming, and less reactive/responsive in a more managed way. Personally, I find I require a lot of time alone in Nature, regular meditation, and very careful selection of friends to support a trajectory that leans away from my natural propensity to be reflexively responsive to external inputs.

I hope this was helpful.